Lola Davina

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Things You're Not Allowed to Do Sex Work Without (No Excuses!!)

Sex work is hard, and it takes a wide range of support to excel at it. If you’re dabbling to pick up a few bucks, perhaps all of this isn’t for you. But if you want to do better than survive — make good money and walk away with something worthwhile — treat yourself like a business. Successful people don’t do things half-assed hoping to strike it rich. They plan. They save. They invest. Anyone who says you don’t need or can’t afford things on this list, let me ask: Why do you think that? What’s your plan to succeed when so many others have failed?

The sad fact is many gifted, gorgeous, top-earning sex workers end up with nothing to show for their years in the biz. That does not have to be you, but you cannot make the same mistakes they did.

Sex work is lonely. Please don’t tell me your plan is to go it alone.

Sex work warps your mind about money. Please don’t tell me your financial plan is to stuff bills in your mattress.

The biz is filled with bogus information about the law and taxes. Please don’t tell me you get all your advice from the Web.

Sex work changes as we get older. Please don’t tell me your plan is to remain young and gorgeous forever.

If you can’t afford everything listed here right this minute, commit to investing in yourself. Long-term success in sex work comes when your body and mind are strong, you have a clear idea of where you’re headed, and your financial house is in order. The good news is most of the items on this list are available at low- or no-cost:

 

  • Health Insurance  You wouldn’t drive for Lyft without insuring your car, would you? Your body is your business.

  • Legal Advice  There’s a lot of excellent legal help online. However, nothing beats a sit-down conversation with a lawyer who knows your unique situation as well as local laws.

  • Financial & Tax Advice  If you don’t put your hard-earned cash to work, soon enough, it will be gone. A tax professional can help you navigate your taxes. A financial advisor will talk to you about your financial goals and craft a plan to get you there. 

  • One-Year, Five-Year, Ten-Year PlansUnless you expect to die soon, then one of two things is going to happen: You will age in the sex industry, or you’ll leave it. Write yourself the story mapping out what you want your future to look like.

  • A Therapist  Sometimes in life, you gotta pay a pro. Friends can’t be expected to do all our emotional heavy lifting.

  • Self-Defense Training Learn how to defend yourself and how to deescalate and escape bad situations.

  • A Hero(ine)  It doesn’t cost you a dime to dream. Picturing someone who is ferocious when you’re timid, cocky when you feel shy, makes you richer already.

  • A Buddy (Or Better Yet, A Bunch)  You are not allowed to do this work alone!! Cultivating buddies in person is best, but at the very least, get online and find community.