More Lola Goodness

A mostly up-to-date list of my written work.

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Article for YNOTCAM.COM: Asking etiquette

May 2, 2020

In the COVID-19 era, when reaching out for help, support and/or participation, be kind and be conscientious. It matters now more than ever.


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Article for YNOTCAM.COM: Self-Care During the Coronavirus

March 20, 2020

Until the coronavirus emergency passes, make self-care (and hand-washing!) your top priorities. We will get through this <3


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Article for YNOTcam.com: on mindfulness

March 9, 2020

For sex workers, mindfulness is especially useful because it helps us establish: This here is what’s going on with me. That over there is what’s going on with you.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Post-Event Blues are a real thing

Jan. 27, 2020

The comedown after a trade show, awards event or fun, community-building time with your peers can be rough.


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article for YNOTcam.com: The forgiveness process

Jan. 6, 2020

It's 2020! And new beginnings often call for closing out past accounts -- but how?


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Article for YNOTcam.com: asserting yourself

Dec. 5, 2019

Enforcing boundaries is an important skill -- and camming offers ongoing opportunities to practice standing up for ourselves.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: What’s life like without boundaries?

Nov. 12, 2019

Boundaries and self-assertion may sometimes be difficult, but they are key to your wellbeing.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Feeling the flow

Oct. 10, 2019

In everyday speak, we often call the flow state being “in the zone" -- but how do you get there? And how can you get there more often?


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Can i cam if i’m not consistent?

Sept. 5, 2019

“When camming is good, it’s great. But some days, I just can’t face it. I don’t want to have to quit camming, but if it doesn’t get better, I may have to.”


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Article for YNOTcam.com: be body embracing in a body-shaming world

Aug. 5, 2019

Love your body for what it is today, not what it was yesterday or what it may become tomorrow (though that's gonna be awesome too!)


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Article for YNOTcam.com: how to handle heartbreak

July 11, 2019

Heartbroken? Sometimes, letting go of feelings about your feelings is the best way to heal.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Keeping your sanity through the 2020 election

May 23, 2019

It's only May, but things are already heating up on the US political front. As online workers in a very interpersonal field, here are some ideas to help keep your sanity intact within that environment.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Communicating with your cam peers online

April 8, 2019

Interacting with other models can occasionally go off the rails. Some tips for communicating positively and productively with your cam peers online.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: overcoming stigma and shame

March 11, 2019

You may be intellectually okay with camming, but then someone comes along and slimes you, leaving you to deal with all the icky feels. Some suggestions to help you through this.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: on the four agreements

Feb. 14, 2019

Unpacking"The Four Agreements" by exploring their relevance to webcam in this month's article -- super useful and empowering!


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Article for YNOTcam.com: new year’s resolutions for 2019

Jan. 2, 2019

Life goals for 2019: spend less, spend smarter, be prepared.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: the gift-getting conundrum

Dec. 6, 2018

People love giving gifts this time of year. But sometimes, what may seem kind can have additional consequences. Is it even worth it?


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Article for YNOTcam.com: emotional labor during the holidays

Nov. 19, 2018

The holidays are here! But what do you do when your friends and fans online get a little *too* dependent on you?


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Article for YNOTcam.com: winter is coming!

Oct. 11, 2018

Winter is coming, and October is the perfect time to pre-plan care for your body, mind and business.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: stop beating yourself up!

Sept. 5, 2018

Turn down the "hate radio" in your head, and stop beating yourself up.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Talking with jiz lee: Online anti-piracy (part ii)

Aug. 8, 2018

Jiz Lee is a force! Sitting down with Lee to discuss life, (anti) piracy and taking action. Here's Part Two of our interview. #PayForYourPorn


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Talking with jiz lee: Online anti-piracy (part i)

Aug. 2, 2018

Jiz Lee is a force! Sitting down with Lee to discuss life, (anti) piracy and taking action. Part One of our interview.

#PayForYourPorn


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Article for YNOTcam.com: The Benefits of Small Business Ownership

June 11, 2018

Guess what? Camming means you're a small business owner! Small business ownership can definitely be challenging, but what are some of the benefits?


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Getting Enough Sleep

May 10, 2018

You need to sleep! Not sleeping can have some seriously negative effects on your health, well-being and life-performance. 


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Article for YNOTcam.com: SESTA: What Does It Mean for Webcam?

April 2, 2018

The U.S. Congress recently passed SESTA. And though this situation is fluid and complex, we are already seeing its impact -- even in cam. Here's some of what you need to know.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Farewell to Fair Weather Friends

March 12, 2018

What do you do when your "friend" freaks out about about your work? I offer some ideas, including ideas about assessing the friendship in the first place.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Not-So-Positive Feedback

February 15, 2018

"Other people’s opinions aren’t truth. They're just bits of information." How to detach from less-than-constructive-criticism.


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Article for YNOTcam.com: Setting Goals in 2018

January 8, 2018

2018 is here, like, now. Celebrate opportunity in the new year by mapping out your goals and gettin' after it.


Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part II)

December 7, 2017

Winter and holiday obligations can be stressful, straining our schedules, budgets, and moods, making it that much harder to get our sexy on. In camming, we can’t afford to ignore the mind-body-business connection, so we have to take extra care of ourselves this time of year.


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Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part I)

November 20, 2017

Summer is all about sunscreen and hydration. Winter months are all about staying healthy, active and balanced to keep your body — and your business — in top shape.


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Article for Ynotcam.com: I Don't Want to meet him & I don't want to lose him

October 3, 2017

Dear Lola,

One of my best fans keeps pressuring me to do things I don’t want to do, including meet IRL. I’m not going to, no matter what, because that’s a promise I made to my mom and my sister when I told them I was camming. (And I really don’t want to, anyway!) But he only lives two hours away, and he keeps wanting me to tell him about my real life. I’m worried he’s going to try and find me… I know I make him sound kind of terrible, but he really is a nice guy and tips me all the time. I don’t want to lose him as a fan!

Sincerely,
Tempted/Not Tempted


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Article for ynotcam.com: When is it time to quit camming?

September 7, 2017

Dear Lola,

I’ve been camming for almost three years now and done well at it, but I know I can’t keep doing it forever. I keep thinking I need to make a change, but the thought makes me nervous. How do I know when it’s time to quit? --Notta Quitter


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Article for YNOT.cam: Wasting Time Scoping out the Competition online

August 1, 2017

In the modern age, the internet provides endless opportunities for us to follow other people’s public lives in ways that can make us feel like we don’t measure up. There’s even a fancy new term for it: Obsessive Comparison Syndrome. OCS is “a compulsion to compare oneself with others in a way that produces anxiety and depression.”

Long before the digital age, people made themselves sick by comparing themselves to others. The phenomenon is quite painful and can be exacerbated by online life. Furthermore, the urge can be particularly seductive — and destructive — for sex workers, including cam models.


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Article for YNOT.cam: The Emotional Side of Money

July 22, 2017

While plenty of books and articles offer step-by-step advice about how to manage finances, most of us aren’t taught to examine how money (or the lack of it) makes us feel. The result is many of us have money blind spots, which can result in unrealistic expectations, magical thinking and bad decision-making. Sex and money are both emotionally charged, so as sex workers, we need to be doubly careful to assess our finances realistically.


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Article for YNOT.cam: Marketing Mindfully

June 12, 2017

You don’t need me to tell you advertising in the cam space is congested, contested, and confusing. But decisions we make today have potential repercussions—to our brand, our reputations, our sense of self—for years to come. So the stakes are high. This isn’t just our livelihoods we’re talking about—it’s our lives.

 

Article for YNOTcam: Dear Lola: Is Camming Sex work?

April 20, 2017

It depends on whom you ask, and the answer is a bit complicated.


Article for Ynotcam: Dear Lola: Friends IRL... Or NOt?

March 15, 2017

Dear Lola: Last month, I attended an industry conference. I was excited to go, because I’d only known two other cammers IRL. While I was there, I met another cam girl who only lives about a half hour away from me, and we hit it off right away. We had drinks one night and hung out the whole next day together. But I’ve texted her a bunch of times since I’ve been home, and she’s never texted me back. I really thought we were going to be friends! What did I do wrong?


Article for YNOYcam: Getting Motivated

January 30, 2017

Getting to create your own work schedule is great... in theory.

But how do you motivate yourself on those days when the last thing you want to do is get on cam? A bad attitude is bad for business. Here’s some advice on what to do when you just aren’t feeling it.


Article for YNOTcam: Managing Harassment

February 28, 2017

Jerks happen-- we can’t just ignore them and hope they go away. We have to be proactive. I propose a three-step plan to keep the bastards from getting you down.


Article for YNOTCAM: New Year's Resolutions

January 2, 2017

Now is the time for making New Year’s resolutions. Here’s what I want for you in the coming year: more time, more money and more energy. So often it seems that to have more of one, we end up with less of the others. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some tips for a fabulous 2017.


Announcement: I'm YNOTCAm's new Health & Wellness Columnist!

October 28, 2016

I'm tremendously honored to be asked to be a regular contributor to YNOTcam.com, writing about health and wellness for cammers! Health, balance, and sanity in sex work is my passion, and I look forward to sharing ways to achieve work/life balance.