More Lola Goodness
A mostly up-to-date list of my written work.
Article for YNOTCAM.COM: Asking etiquette
May 2, 2020
In the COVID-19 era, when reaching out for help, support and/or participation, be kind and be conscientious. It matters now more than ever.
Article for YNOTCAM.COM: Self-Care During the Coronavirus
March 20, 2020
Until the coronavirus emergency passes, make self-care (and hand-washing!) your top priorities. We will get through this <3
Article for YNOTcam.com: on mindfulness
March 9, 2020
For sex workers, mindfulness is especially useful because it helps us establish: This here is what’s going on with me. That over there is what’s going on with you.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Post-Event Blues are a real thing
Jan. 27, 2020
The comedown after a trade show, awards event or fun, community-building time with your peers can be rough.
article for YNOTcam.com: The forgiveness process
Jan. 6, 2020
It's 2020! And new beginnings often call for closing out past accounts -- but how?
Article for YNOTcam.com: asserting yourself
Dec. 5, 2019
Enforcing boundaries is an important skill -- and camming offers ongoing opportunities to practice standing up for ourselves.
Article for YNOTcam.com: What’s life like without boundaries?
Nov. 12, 2019
Boundaries and self-assertion may sometimes be difficult, but they are key to your wellbeing.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Feeling the flow
Oct. 10, 2019
In everyday speak, we often call the flow state being “in the zone" -- but how do you get there? And how can you get there more often?
Article for YNOTcam.com: Can i cam if i’m not consistent?
Sept. 5, 2019
“When camming is good, it’s great. But some days, I just can’t face it. I don’t want to have to quit camming, but if it doesn’t get better, I may have to.”
Article for YNOTcam.com: be body embracing in a body-shaming world
Aug. 5, 2019
Love your body for what it is today, not what it was yesterday or what it may become tomorrow (though that's gonna be awesome too!)
Article for YNOTcam.com: how to handle heartbreak
July 11, 2019
Heartbroken? Sometimes, letting go of feelings about your feelings is the best way to heal.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Keeping your sanity through the 2020 election
May 23, 2019
It's only May, but things are already heating up on the US political front. As online workers in a very interpersonal field, here are some ideas to help keep your sanity intact within that environment.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Communicating with your cam peers online
April 8, 2019
Interacting with other models can occasionally go off the rails. Some tips for communicating positively and productively with your cam peers online.
Article for YNOTcam.com: overcoming stigma and shame
March 11, 2019
You may be intellectually okay with camming, but then someone comes along and slimes you, leaving you to deal with all the icky feels. Some suggestions to help you through this.
Article for YNOTcam.com: on the four agreements
Feb. 14, 2019
Unpacking"The Four Agreements" by exploring their relevance to webcam in this month's article -- super useful and empowering!
Article for YNOTcam.com: new year’s resolutions for 2019
Jan. 2, 2019
Life goals for 2019: spend less, spend smarter, be prepared.
Article for YNOTcam.com: the gift-getting conundrum
Dec. 6, 2018
People love giving gifts this time of year. But sometimes, what may seem kind can have additional consequences. Is it even worth it?
Article for YNOTcam.com: emotional labor during the holidays
Nov. 19, 2018
The holidays are here! But what do you do when your friends and fans online get a little *too* dependent on you?
Article for YNOTcam.com: winter is coming!
Oct. 11, 2018
Winter is coming, and October is the perfect time to pre-plan care for your body, mind and business.
Article for YNOTcam.com: stop beating yourself up!
Sept. 5, 2018
Turn down the "hate radio" in your head, and stop beating yourself up.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Talking with jiz lee: Online anti-piracy (part ii)
Aug. 8, 2018
Jiz Lee is a force! Sitting down with Lee to discuss life, (anti) piracy and taking action. Here's Part Two of our interview. #PayForYourPorn
Article for YNOTcam.com: Talking with jiz lee: Online anti-piracy (part i)
Aug. 2, 2018
Jiz Lee is a force! Sitting down with Lee to discuss life, (anti) piracy and taking action. Part One of our interview.
#PayForYourPorn
Article for YNOTcam.com: The Benefits of Small Business Ownership
June 11, 2018
Guess what? Camming means you're a small business owner! Small business ownership can definitely be challenging, but what are some of the benefits?
Article for YNOTcam.com: Getting Enough Sleep
May 10, 2018
You need to sleep! Not sleeping can have some seriously negative effects on your health, well-being and life-performance.
Article for YNOTcam.com: SESTA: What Does It Mean for Webcam?
April 2, 2018
The U.S. Congress recently passed SESTA. And though this situation is fluid and complex, we are already seeing its impact -- even in cam. Here's some of what you need to know.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Farewell to Fair Weather Friends
March 12, 2018
What do you do when your "friend" freaks out about about your work? I offer some ideas, including ideas about assessing the friendship in the first place.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Not-So-Positive Feedback
February 15, 2018
"Other people’s opinions aren’t truth. They're just bits of information." How to detach from less-than-constructive-criticism.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Setting Goals in 2018
January 8, 2018
2018 is here, like, now. Celebrate opportunity in the new year by mapping out your goals and gettin' after it.
Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part II)
December 7, 2017
Winter and holiday obligations can be stressful, straining our schedules, budgets, and moods, making it that much harder to get our sexy on. In camming, we can’t afford to ignore the mind-body-business connection, so we have to take extra care of ourselves this time of year.
Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part I)
November 20, 2017
Summer is all about sunscreen and hydration. Winter months are all about staying healthy, active and balanced to keep your body — and your business — in top shape.
Article for Ynotcam.com: I Don't Want to meet him & I don't want to lose him
October 3, 2017
Dear Lola,
One of my best fans keeps pressuring me to do things I don’t want to do, including meet IRL. I’m not going to, no matter what, because that’s a promise I made to my mom and my sister when I told them I was camming. (And I really don’t want to, anyway!) But he only lives two hours away, and he keeps wanting me to tell him about my real life. I’m worried he’s going to try and find me… I know I make him sound kind of terrible, but he really is a nice guy and tips me all the time. I don’t want to lose him as a fan!
Sincerely,
Tempted/Not Tempted
Article for ynotcam.com: When is it time to quit camming?
September 7, 2017
Dear Lola,
I’ve been camming for almost three years now and done well at it, but I know I can’t keep doing it forever. I keep thinking I need to make a change, but the thought makes me nervous. How do I know when it’s time to quit? --Notta Quitter
Article for YNOT.cam: Wasting Time Scoping out the Competition online
August 1, 2017
In the modern age, the internet provides endless opportunities for us to follow other people’s public lives in ways that can make us feel like we don’t measure up. There’s even a fancy new term for it: Obsessive Comparison Syndrome. OCS is “a compulsion to compare oneself with others in a way that produces anxiety and depression.”
Long before the digital age, people made themselves sick by comparing themselves to others. The phenomenon is quite painful and can be exacerbated by online life. Furthermore, the urge can be particularly seductive — and destructive — for sex workers, including cam models.
Article for YNOT.cam: The Emotional Side of Money
July 22, 2017
While plenty of books and articles offer step-by-step advice about how to manage finances, most of us aren’t taught to examine how money (or the lack of it) makes us feel. The result is many of us have money blind spots, which can result in unrealistic expectations, magical thinking and bad decision-making. Sex and money are both emotionally charged, so as sex workers, we need to be doubly careful to assess our finances realistically.
Article for YNOT.cam: Marketing Mindfully
June 12, 2017
You don’t need me to tell you advertising in the cam space is congested, contested, and confusing. But decisions we make today have potential repercussions—to our brand, our reputations, our sense of self—for years to come. So the stakes are high. This isn’t just our livelihoods we’re talking about—it’s our lives.
Article for YNOTcam: Dear Lola: Is Camming Sex work?
April 20, 2017
It depends on whom you ask, and the answer is a bit complicated.
Article for Ynotcam: Dear Lola: Friends IRL... Or NOt?
March 15, 2017
Dear Lola: Last month, I attended an industry conference. I was excited to go, because I’d only known two other cammers IRL. While I was there, I met another cam girl who only lives about a half hour away from me, and we hit it off right away. We had drinks one night and hung out the whole next day together. But I’ve texted her a bunch of times since I’ve been home, and she’s never texted me back. I really thought we were going to be friends! What did I do wrong?
Article for YNOYcam: Getting Motivated
January 30, 2017
Getting to create your own work schedule is great... in theory.
But how do you motivate yourself on those days when the last thing you want to do is get on cam? A bad attitude is bad for business. Here’s some advice on what to do when you just aren’t feeling it.
Article for YNOTcam: Managing Harassment
February 28, 2017
Jerks happen-- we can’t just ignore them and hope they go away. We have to be proactive. I propose a three-step plan to keep the bastards from getting you down.
Article for YNOTCAM: New Year's Resolutions
January 2, 2017
Now is the time for making New Year’s resolutions. Here’s what I want for you in the coming year: more time, more money and more energy. So often it seems that to have more of one, we end up with less of the others. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some tips for a fabulous 2017.
Announcement: I'm YNOTCAm's new Health & Wellness Columnist!
October 28, 2016
I'm tremendously honored to be asked to be a regular contributor to YNOTcam.com, writing about health and wellness for cammers! Health, balance, and sanity in sex work is my passion, and I look forward to sharing ways to achieve work/life balance.