Sex Work & Money
SURVEY RESULTS
Between December 27, 2017 and January 20, 2018, I conducted a non-scientific Internet-based survey consisting of fourteen questions asking sex workers about the emotional dimensions of money earned through sex work. 1,030 people participated; only respondents who self-defined as current or former sex workers were included. Partially completed surveys were included in results.
As You Read This, Remember…
Lola, I can hear you say, How come this isn’t this a scientific survey? You’ve got all kinds of numbers. Bar graphs, percentages. Looks pretty scientific-y to me.
When looking at survey results, the most important factor in the usefulness of the data is not how well the questions are worded, although that’s important. It’s not what kind of calculations you perform on the data, although that can be quite sophisticated. The key question is determining who participated. In the case of this survey, I gathered respondents online, through social media. As you read through the results, keep a few things in mind.
· This survey was anonymous. I performed no independent confirmation of any of the information, including sex worker status.
· Participants were self-selected. It’s safe to assume this population is weighted heavily towards sex workers who work inside and have free time to participate. Also, my social media sphere sits comfortably in the voluntary, pro-sex work camp, so one would expect considerable pro-sex work bias in the responses.
· This survey cannot be a representative sampling of all sex workers. To list two obvious shortcomings, it was conducted in English, excluding non-English speaking workers, and collected online, so workers without Internet access could not participate. Therefore, these results should not be extrapolated to the entire sex worker population.
I don’t say this to discount the results—social scientists wrestle with these limitations all the time. What I’m suggesting is for you to look over these findings with a healthy dose of skepticism: If you see sides of yourself reflected here, you’re not alone. However, if you don’t, remember there are many millions of other current and former sex workers whose opinions and experiences may be closer to your own.
I received more than 5,600 individual written responses, totaling 252 pages. So many stories—inspiring, heartbreaking, hilarious. Reading what you shared was humbling.
To each and every one of you who participated,
***THANK YOU.***
THE DATA
“I identify as:”
The majority of respondents were current sex workers; 9% were former sex workers or on hiatus:
“Please check any/all job titles you have currently or formerly been paid for.”
Participants identified across a wide range of job titles. Three in ten (309/1030) identified with one job title; seven out of ten (721/1030) identified with more than one.
In addition to the provided job categories, participants self-identified as:
Adult Content Video Maker
Adult Copywriter
Adult Voice Actor
Amateur Porn/Fetish Actor/Creator/Producer
BDSM Consultant
Boyfriend Experience
Burlesque Performer
Strip Club Bartender/Dancer/Manager
Custom Clip/Video Maker
Companion
Courtesan
Cuddler
Digital Media Manager
Dungeon Monitor & Promoter
Emotional Sugar Baby
Fetish Clip Model/Seller
Fetish Escort
Fetish Wrestler
Fetish Provider
Findom/Findomme
Foot Fetish Sessions
Independent Cyber Sex Worker
Kik Girl
Madame
Nude House Cleaner
Online Dominatrix
Online Fetish Worker
Panty Seller
Pinup Model
Professional Sexter
Peep Show Entertainer
Porn Writer
Professional Submissive/Switch
Queer Feminist Cam Studio Owner & Producer
Sacred Intimate
Session Wrestler
Sex Coach
Surrogate Partner Therapist
Tantra
Virtual Sugar Baby
Web Application Developer/Support
“What words would you use to describe the way money earned from sex work makes you feel?”
Participants reported mostly positive connotations to the money earned from sex work, both in the prompt words I provided:
And the words participants volunteered unprompted:
“Please explain how the money earned from sex work makes you feel.”
As a reminder: these responses related to the money earned from sex work, rather than the work itself, so it’s perhaps unsurprising that most were positive.
Free. As in, not tied down to anything. Not obligated to go to a miserable job, and work for a shitty boss. Free to work when I please, as much as I please. —Bleu Cameo, 23-year-old genderfluid webcam model/fetish content creator
It buys me citizenship. If I was on disability benefits I wouldn’t be able to afford to go to the Theatre, galleries, lectures. It buys the ability to participate in society. —Eliza, F, early 40s, UK, FSSW
The first job in which I didn't feel exploited, meaning that I now earn the full amount of what my work is worth, so I'd say empowered. —Anonymous
My life has improved 100% with My sex work. I can be Myself. —Miss Foxx, UK, Financial Dominatrix and International Mistress
Horny. I've masturbated with my money many times. —Escort from Finland
Cunning. Tricky. Independent. Professional. Subversive. —Anonymous, 31 year old queer femme sex worker from Winnipeg, MB
Precarious, dazed, overwhelmed; cunning, secure, serene, jubilant, spoiled. —AJ, a UK queer in their late 30’s who has worked in a variety of sex occupations
Secure, loved/cared for, wanted, appreciated, valued, hopeful, happy, creative, successful —Ari, 25-year-old, white, female, bisexual, boudoir and webcam model, camming on chaturbate.com for 4 years
Powerful, anti-capitalist as fuck! —Rowan, twenty-something shibari performer and sugar baby-turned-full-service-escort
I like the word 'safe'. I grew up very poor. Every time I come home with $1,000 it reminds me I will never need to worry about money again. The industry will always be there. I will always be 'safe.' —Anonymous, 25, full service worker, Australia
Guilty, but...in a guilty pleasure sort of way, a 'gosh that was so easy' sort of way. —M, an erotic hypnodomme
ON TOP OF THE FRIGGING WORLD! —Felony Havoc, phone sex operator and cam model from Canada
Finally middle class. —Artinatrix
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Quite a few respondents emphasized the relief from worry sex work money provided.
Like I was finally able to breathe. Like I could sleep a whole night without anxiety. Like I knew where my next meal was coming from, basically. —S.H., transgender
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Some respondents reported no emotional charge to the money at all:
Money paid the bills, but there was no emotional component. The work had emotions attached, I enjoyed the work, but the money was just this useful thing I had at the end. —Anonymous, 36, white, female, California, phone sex worker.
Just making it, busy, hard worker. AL, black queer sex worker
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Several respondents reported a complicated, more nuanced, or negative reaction to the money:
Disgusted, powerful, unbreakable, sad, relieved, hungry, motivated, frustrated, irritated. —Anonymous
Shameful, because my other family works so hard for so little. —Teena
At times, shallow and empty. —SeXXXieStaci, a.k.a. StaciofSeattle, mixed race, 40+, traveling Sex Worker and amateur pornstar
“How Did the Money earned from sex work First feel Starting Out?”
In response to this open-ended prompt, many respondents offered stories of the money earned from sex work affecting them positively, sometimes in life-changing ways:
Amazing. When I first started sex work I was in an abusive relationship. I used that money to escape. I felt empowered, like I was finally reclaiming my life. At my old jobs, my ex could watch my direct deposits and pay stubs and see what I was making. Money from sex work was mine that he couldn't take from me—not all of it, anyways. He thought I was a waitress, and I only had to give him what a waitress would have made, and saved the rest so I could escape. –A.L., Canadian escort and adult film performer
I was living off of tinned soup and counting the pennies. After my first job, (one of my current favourite regulars), I was handed an envelope full of £20’s. I couldn’t believe how much was inside, easily my month’s rent... Suddenly I had sooo many possibilities running through my head about our future and what I could do for my child. We spent the next day at the cinema and looking round toy shops. I still remember his face when I said we could actually buy the toy he had been playing with. I’ve never experienced the feeling of safeness money brings until this job - something I’m forever grateful for. —Anonymous
WOW!!!!! Like pulling off a successful bank heist. —Emma, escort in Boston
It was incredible, seeing all the cash and big bills come in. I did totally silly things like take selfies fanning myself with hundred dollar bills. I didn't think very much about saving it, it felt abundant when I started out. —Anonymous
Magical. Like receiving the greatest, most sincere compliment over and over from all types of people. —JJ Jiggles, 29-years-old Classic Midwest Snowbunny, St. Louis, Missouri
Good. Being a BBW who isn't standard hot, I didn't think I would be able to thrive in this business. It was exciting. —B, 35, Camgirl
I was 15. It was exhilarating. —Tempest, cisgender Libertarian sex worker from the Filthadelphia suburbs running for Congress, and the first female president of the United States
Amazing, like I was able to finally provide for myself despite my mental illness. I felt secure in my ability to afford stable housing in exchange for my mental state and well-being. —F., 19, genderqueer, full service escort
The same as now (as I'm still starting out): It makes me feel as if I were beautiful. —Tallulah a.k.a. CompanionCubeCutie, part-time camgirl in her mid-twenties from Germany
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Not all respondents’ experiences were positive. Some reported feelings of shame, sadness, badness, fear, and guilt.
It was weird. I felt really desperate. Scared that I would get into weird situations, that I would get hurt. Scared that I wouldn't be good at this, and I would only meet terrible people. Scared that no one would love me. —Sistina Day
Dirty. I didn't want to tell my family how I was making the money I was making. I knew they would freak out, and they did. They made me feel horrible for doing something that has more than helped my family. —Annie, natural red head, mid twenties, Midwest, four years in the industry
My first experience with sex work was during adolescence [as a survivor of trafficking]. My substance abuse was out of control, and as a result I was easily taken advantage of. The money that I earned from turning tricks felt heavy; it had baggage. My wealth was impermanent since I spent everything I earned on drugs. I had no savings, and nothing to show for my work. I felt scared and taken advantage of. —GoAskAlex, a cam model from Western Canada
When I first started out, I had to pay 75%-80% of the money handed to me to my pimp and my driver. Since the rate was $300 an hour, and I was trying to cover a month of bills, I felt fear that I wouldn’t get enough work to accumulate what I needed monthly. —Niko Cole, 32, multiracial, queer woman, professional sub
Dirty. I was underage working for a madam. Did it for the thrill, but always felt gross with these old men. Already had money in my life. —Anonymous
The first time I was paid for a sex act, I felt sad. I remember wondering how many more unpleasant sexual experiences I would need to have to get out of poverty. As I started seeing more pleasant clients, the money made me feel proud of myself. —Carmen Shakti, sex worker, artist, Tantra practitioner, Vancouver, BC Canada
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Some reported the money felt like nothing more than a means to an end:
It was something I needed to survive. I was glad to not be homeless. —Anonymous sensual massage therapist and certified massage therapist in Los Angeles, 40-years-old, cis woman
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A significant subset of respondents reported mixed feelings from the first money earned from sex work:
It was a relief to not have to worry so much about money, no longer being restricted by a salary, but also I felt the stigma attached to it. I would hide my earnings pretending I was as poor as everyone around me. —Miss B, 27, escorting in the UK for 7 years
Naughty and guilty. Shame that I had to use my body and sex to make a living. At the same time, free and empowered. —Cecilia, courtesan, traveling between San Francisco and New York City
Exciting and a little shameful. I knew my friends, family and everyone in my vanilla life would not approve. Also a little used, because I didn’t know any other sex workers and was very much working for survival. In the beginning I was severely undercutting myself and had no knowledge of how to screen or work safely. —P.S., NYC-based, mid-late twenties, resilient nonbinary pro bitch, findom, fetish model, femdom porn producer, sugar expert, and former escort and camgirl
“Does/Did The Money Earned From Sex Work Feel Different Than Other Money? Why Or Why Not?”
About one in six respondents reported feeling no difference towards money earned from sex work and other money:
I don't attach sentiment to money. I was not taught to feel shame around it, and I know its socially-constructed worth, so it is not something over which I agonize. —Yvette, 30-year-old exotic dancer from Philadelphia
No, I provide respectful services for compensation; the money is just as green and buys the same necessities to survive. —Anonymous
Nope. Just easier! —Josephina in AZ. Sophisticated courtesan, new to the biz
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Of the three-quarters of respondents who did report a difference, the two most common differences reported were money offered a combination of control, safety, and freedom; and the earning power was greater than vanilla jobs:
It feels like finally, my time is being valued closer to my actual worth. Working for minimum wage is soul destroying and demeaning. Hours, days, years of my precious life were sold for minimum wage, and little respect. Sex work is closer to real value for my time and my person. —Mme Zoe, 31yrs, NZ, new to the industry, full service sex worker who does everything except pole-dancing & phone sex (because I'm uncoordinated & dislike phone calls.)
It's a liberating feeling to be your own BOSS. To make your own hours. To decide what the limits of your weekly paycheck will be. I decide how much I want or need to make in a week, and I always end the week with that amount. I'm never short on bills or rent. It's a relief to be in charge of my life. —Alyssa Marie, 36 white, escort, Vermont, USA
More than anything I am SO protective of my sex work money. Why? I guess it feels a little sacred and special to me. I really, really love my job and am very proud of the amount of labor, skill and healing intimacy I put into every dollar I make. Especially as someone who grew up poor, I started sex work out of survival and thought I would never be able to enjoy it or do this job safely. Now the money I earn is very dear to me. —P.S.
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Other notable ways money earned from sex work felt different: Unreal or insubstantial.
It seems to go more quickly and be more disposable, even though it shouldn't be. —Anonymous
It sometimes feels illicit in the way that it comes from what others perceive not to be a “real job.” No taxes are taken out automatically, and some of it will go unclaimed. It’s harder to budget and less consistent than a corporate paycheck, and it doesn’t include extras like health insurance and matching 401k contributions. I love sex work money so much more because I earned every penny building myself up from nothing, but it also feels more liquid and insecure. —C, SSBBW porn and cam girl [SSBBW means super-sized big beautiful woman]
I don’t view the money I make from sex work as actual MONEY. I view it as winning the lottery each time. —Shana/Femdom/Camgirl
Validating and affirming:
I felt wanted and desired and sexy. Men are actually PAYING to spend time with chubby me? Such a powerful feeling. —Anna Bella, 27-year-old white British escort from Nottingham. Three years of experience with gentleman of all shapes, sizes, colours, ages and classes.
Money I make in sex work (especially the interactive work) is a direct “thank you” for making somebody’s life tangibly better. —AJ, a UK queer in their 30s who worked in a variety of sex occupations
I earned that money 100%, and it is 100% mine. Someone paid me because they value my time, body, and many other features. I felt liberated from the confines of “normal” work, which as a disabled person felt amazing. I felt secure and like I could support myself. —Ava Adore, a 30-year-old queer femme sex worker from Chicago
Complex and contradictory:
It feels more precious, more hard-earned and at the same time, paradoxically, like the easiest money ever earned. Easier because I earn that amount of money in a few mere hours, and others have to work a month of waged labor. Precious and hard-earned because of the stigmas, troubles, and physical and emotional labor. —Phaedra, Berlin
Yes. It’s faster and easier to make. It’s also unreliable and inconsistent after previously earning a set salary. I almost feel like I don’t deserve it, like it was just too easy. —Anonymous
Dirty, shaming, or insufficient compensation:
It felt like "dirty money," like I was doing something illegal. —Annaliease, 20-something fantasy worker
I don't feel quite like I've 'earnt' it as much as from my 'normal' job, due to internalised stigma. Some part of me says “Oh yeah, but that was easy money, you didn't really work hard did you?” I know it's bullshit, but my inner voice still says that. —Anonymous, 25, full service worker, Australia
Sometimes I've looked at the cash after the booking and thought, "I've traded some of my soul and self-worth for this." —Mischa, 30-year-old escort from Sydney, Australia.
“Have your feelings towards the money you earn/ed doing sex work changed over time?”
Six in ten respondents reported that their feelings towards the money earned in sex work had changed; one in three did not.
For those who did report their feelings changing over time, four main narratives emerged:
Attitudes improving over time, feeling more confident, more in control, better boundaries, better businessperson
The work becoming more normal, losing its thrill
The work growing harder or slowing down
Fear of the future
Better businessperson, better boundaries, better outlook
When I started out I was very unsure of myself and set my rates far too low because I didn't think I deserved more. Now I feel that my (much higher) rates are quite generous and I deserve every penny and more! —Anonymous
I’ve really started thinking outside the box. I never really took advantage of my creativity and freedom at the beginning. I used to cam for hours, fulfilling a bunch of cookie cutter fantasies. Back sore from working on a bed all day, head pounding from the bright lights. It was great money, but made me feel brain-dead. I was wasting away and depressed. Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s more important to feel fulfilled and creative. Money isn’t everything. My sanity and health come first. — MajestyNatalie, Femdom/Fetish Clip Model
I'd say a few years back I might still argue this isn't "a real job" because I felt embarrassed or ashamed. But now that I've built a brand, a fan base, a website with steady income... I am definitely proud of my REAL job as a sex worker. —Poppy, 25-year-old BBW and fetish model since 2013.
That aspect of shame and occasionally feeling gross or used is totally gone after meeting other sex workers and allowing myself to not give a fuck anymore what normies think. —P.S.
I have learned to be fiscally responsible through sex work. Saving most of my money away so I could take frequent breaks and not get stuck in the grind. Ironically, sex work has made me care less about money and things. I care more about my experiences in life and my personal well being because I have the money to not worry about struggling. —Amber Ivy
I quickly stopped working for those men and started working for myself. I do, though, continue to hold conflicting feelings: dirty, used, strong, intelligent, abused. —Niko Cole
Normalization
It feels less exciting now than it did the first few times (that initial rush), but it's more satisfying now. And I feel much more stable, wealthy and powerful now. In the beginning I felt uncertain about how I was making the money and how long I would be able to continue making it. —K.K., 21-year-old solo fetish porn producer, England
I have a better handle on the ebbs and flows of demand throughout the seasons, which makes my overall income feel more secure and predictable. When I started, a couple of bad days on cam made me feel like I’d never have a good day again, whereas now I know that demand averages out, so I’m fairly chill during the feast-or-famine swings. —AJ
Harder/Slowdown
I grew more comfortable and less anxious over time but the excitement wore off and I began to feel resentful of some of the demands made on the time and emotional space by clients. I also became disillusioned with the idea that I could become rich as an escort. It seemed less like a pathway to glamour and more like, well, a job. —Anonymous
I first went into this business strictly for a way to survive after sustaining a head injury that retired me from my corporate career in business. I feel trapped and used most of the time, but every once in awhile I have a wonderful experience with a client. Then I am a healer or a coach, and the money has a completely different meaning to me. —Anonymous
I never take it for granted now. In the beginning I made assumptions about how easy it would be to continue earning at a high level and these assumptions were somewhat naive as it turned out, it was much harder to earn and maintain a good sex work income. —Anonymous
Anxiety about keeping pace or transitioning out
Now that I've raised my income level, I feel more desperate to keep up and maintain the income, often at the detriment to my own self-care and mental health. Mo' Money Mo' Problems and all that. —Jenn Katt, 30, independent artist, full-time camgirl. Over 10 years experience in sexwork.
Over the years, I have felt addicted to the money. I sometimes feel stuck. Addicted to the “ease” of making the money. Makes me feel lazy, sometimes guilty. I’ve tried to get other jobs/go to school/start new endeavors, but I always go back or stay doing this. I’m also chronically ill and that is another element that adds to me feeling stuck. —Anonymous
The way I feel now is different because I’m in my late 30s and started in my early 20s. I’ve never been a rich worker, I’ve struggled with client-to-client living and haven’t been able to save much without needing it again because of disability, but that is to be expected, and it is better than the other options. All this being said, I am scared for my age and the work drying up or getting more difficult and since I don’t have other employment history, benefits or savings, I will probably have to go on welfare. So I am trying to figure that out and I really wish there was more support for exiting. Not from an abolition place, but because it is the reality of career sex workers. We do eventually need an exit plan once we get too old/disabled to work. —Oria, 36, mixed white passing Métis/Cree/settler, They/them/their Non-binary Canada Escort (now more of a mature companion)
It has made it harder for me to settle for less money if I have to take on another (non-sex work) job. —RW, 26-year-old stripper and former dominatrix
“One common reason sex workers give for getting into sex work is because they “needed the money.” Was that your experience?”
Six in ten respondents responded money was their primary, if not sole reason for entering sex work. Three in ten reported money was not their primary motivator, and eight percent reported mixed motives.
Yes—Needed The Money
Firstly, I think it's such a double standard that people use that phrase to describe people getting into sex work, but not when they're describing any other form of employment. Like, most people work literally any job because they "needed the money". But when people say that in reference to sex workers they're usually implying something along the lines of "it was out of desperation" and that being the only real reason anyone would want to be a sex worker, or that being the only real justification for anyone else accepting that choice. I definitely started doing sex work in large part for the money, because I was living rurally without a lot of employment options. But it was also because I liked being able to more or less make my own schedule, work from home a lot of the time, and not have a boss. —Aralia Hunt, Ex-cam model, currently working as an escort/domme
I started when I was a jobless 20-year-old college kid. I was given custody of my 14- and 17-year-old brothers. At the time, I had no other options that would give me the chance to earn a living that could support the three of us while also giving me the time I needed to be at home to take care of them. —Chayse Rose, 28-year-old full service sex worker and Dominatrix/Pro Switch based in Seattle with over seven years experience.
As a transgender woman, work became impossible out in the world. In sex work, I found I was desired and special and could work from home where I feel safe. —TS Ginger, a transgender escort specializing in gfe, submission, and light domination for men, women and couples for over five years in Tucson AZ.
Everyone needs money. That's an unfortunate fucking fact. Even though I worked and kept up with scholarships, I graduated college with a ton of debt and limited options to support myself: I could dig deeper into student loan hell, burn out doing overtime for a non-profit, or crawl back to food service after years of harassment and physical pain led me to swear it off. My mental health issues are disruptive enough that I cannot hold down a "normal" job, so sex work fits my needs. As an autonomous whore, I'm able to heal and thrive while also facilitating my clients' emotional development. —Jinx Lierre, queer femme, former stripper & current FSSW (she or they)
My husband fell off a roof and broke both arms. I had always been sexually curious and adventurous, very open as a person was always attracted to this type of work, but the accident was the finally push to do sex work. It’s a part of me that has always been there. —Alice’s Wonderland, 31-year-old Girl Next Door, companion and sensual erotic masseuse
I did need money, but wanted to earn it doing something I loved, on my own terms, and I didn't want my hard work to be making someone else wealthy. I had other options, but chose this one. —Sir Claire Black, London pro-domme
Of course I got into sex work for the money, the same as any job. If I won the lottery, I would quit both my civvy and my sex work job. —Anonymous
I had a dive of a flat, my flatmate was using all our cash for drugs, and the rent was overdue. I had thousands in debts and loans, and there was no food, so it began out of necessity. I was at an all-time low, sitting on a bench in Cheltenham UK, and crying my heart out. A middle-aged woman sat next to me and asked what was up, so I told her, “Heard it before, Dear.” She explained how she had been in a similar situation decades before and how sex work had saved her life. “Always trust your instincts,” she told me. —Rayne Storm, 55-year-old transgender sex worker in UK
I was an illegal migrant when I started in sex work. I couldn't get a regular job in that position, and the ones available weren't a good option. I never had any problem having sex for free with strangers, so for me, it was really easy. —Shirley McLaren, 36-year-old trans woman from Mexico City, living in Barcelona
There was no other way to make the money I needed to support my habit. I didn’t want to turn tricks on the street, but was approached by a club promoter, and then an agency. They convinced me it was the safest way to make that quick dollar I needed. —A., mixed race 34-year-old non binary trans, tattooed ProDom/FinDom and High Class Companion
This is the simple answer: I did need the money, but it forced me to do what I have been longing to do for years. Lack of money helped me get over my fear of the illegality of sex work. —Tina, 53-year-old mature BBW Caucasian woman from California, escort
Absolutely. If I wasn't in a tight financial situation, I may never have tried camming. Luckily, I love it! I recently celebrated my four year 'cammiversary', and I can't imagine a future outside of this line of the industry. —GoAskAlex
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Yes & No—Part-time side gig, complimentary income, flexibility, adventure
Not 100%. I was still married when I first became an escort. My husband had a six-figure income, we had a house, boat, two cars, and I had a full-time job also. Part of it was the adventure, as my husband and I had stopped having sex. Part of it was altruism, as I knew so many men that were ignored by their wives and travelled for work- spending lonely nights in hotel rooms. I wonder if my subconscious knew that I would one day (within 18 months of becoming an escort) want to divorce my husband and hence would NEED to be an escort in order to survive. —Mischa
I was diagnosed with PTSD, and I was in such a dark place before camming and starting on meds that I walked out on my previous job. I needed something where I could be in control and feel comfortable again. Camming was the answer I never knew I needed. —GidgetX
I needed a second job that was flexible to work around a retail job. A few years later my car broke down, and I had to quit my job because it was too far away. I started camming fulltime, and I'm much better because of it now. —B, 35, Camgirl
The money wasn’t the main reason, and it’s still not to this day. For me, it’s about 50% money, 50% freedom. —P. Paris, 30-year-old sex worker
I did need the money, but I also wanted to help people. I had a lovely experience with a male sex worker prior to entering the industry. That session was so healing, I was inspired to do the same for others. —Carmen Shakti
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No—Freedom, curiosity, luck, rebellion, liking sex
The first time I ever went to a strip club I was in awe, I thought all the ladies dancing looked so empowered and strong and obviously beautiful. More than anything, I just wanted to be on stage, dancing and hustling and being apart of all of it. —Kaylee, 19-years-old, exotic dancer and sugar baby for almost two years, dancing in Portland OR
I have a salary job, 401k, investments, and a savings account. I don’t NEED the money at all. It turns me on to take it away from submissives. —Chloe Manson, Professional Dominatrix
I entered sex work for the rebellion and experience. The money was second. —Kristy, former escort, dancer, fantasy maker, model, and sex work activist
Actually, I started for moral support of a friend that needed the money for a loan. After working a few weeks, my friend left, and I never looked back. —Imogen, 30-year-old, Australian sex worker of 10 years
“Sex Work is often called ‘easy money.’ Do you agree? Why or why not?”
This question elicited by far the most lengthy and detailed responses. Four out of five of respondents disagreed with the characterization of sex work money as “easy money,” listing a wide range of challenges, along with a portfolio of skills necessary for success.
One in ten were more ambivalent, pointing out that even though the money might come quickly, it takes tremendous time and effort. Of the one-in-ten respondents who answered “yes,” the main reason they felt the money came easily was because they preferred the work, especially when compared to low-wage jobs.
No— Sex work is not easy money
Sex work demands marketing oneself and getting clients, it requires taking precautions to stay safe, it demands discretion to keep oneself safe from persecution while also ensuring one's own safety with clients, it demands taking a health risk, it demands taking care of one's appearance and physical and mental health, and it requires having "thick skin" to withstand social shaming and the risk of rejection from loved ones. —L.J., mid-twenties, queer, Caucasian, location Scandinavia, camwhore, amateur porn actor & indoors sex worker
Absolutely not. As a domme, I can't even zone out for a minute, because I have to be constantly engaging and responding to the client in character. Sometimes I struggle to get in the right mood—if I don’t, the session will be total flop. The fact that people call this "easy money" tells me two things: first, that people think sex is separate from someone's emotional, psychological and social needs, desires and skills, which it is absolutely not. The second thing is that society doesn't value the skills required to connect with someone on such a personal level. —Non-binary femdom working exclusively online
As a woman of color, I have to tolerate clients saying racist bullshit to me—like how is that easy? I would never tolerate that in a straight job. Plus all the admin. I'm seriously getting underpaid, if I were honest. —Anonymous, cis lesbian WoC from Los Angeles, escort
Fuck no. It's not any normal 9-to-5 job. People with vanilla jobs get time off, they get to go home and decompress. They can mentally "check out" while at work too. They also get health benefits, sick leave, maternity leave, raises, promotions, paid vacation. Sex workers get none of that. —Vanessa, Hollywood, CA
You are constantly absorbing other people's energy on the most intimate of levels. There is not always a roadmap to follow. For me to do my job, I must be professional, have exceptional customer service, but also have the deep strength, resolve, and compassion to put my foot down, communicate effectively, and tap into what's going on with other people all while making sure I am safe & protecting myself. Being open with others can be really hard and very rewarding. —Anonymous
There is so much emotional labor involved— being harassed, the fear of being assaulted, being misgendered, being held to ridiculous beauty standards, etc. Add to that the uncertainty of when you're going to get your next booking and it becomes a stressful line of work—not something I would call easy at all. —28-year-old non-binary cam model, porn performer, and escort working in Austin, TX
There is no such thing as (REGULAR) easy money. —Amber West
It is very hard work, not the easy job the movies portray, buying supplies, providing for the particular interests of each client, being upbeat when you feel like a day off watching cheesy movies with a tub of ice cream. It’s hard physically and emotionally, but very rewarding when you know you have made someone’s day. —Rayne Storm, 55-year-old transgender sex worker in UK
I can’t even. I challenge anyone who says that to try it for a year. There’s correspondence, prepping, commuting, there are the days where I can’t see any of my friends or take care of my own needs because I’m so taxed from tending to the delusions of all these dudes. There’s constantly, CONSTANTLY, having to assert and maintain your boundaries. So no, not easy money. —S. Gay, 31-year-old career escort, femme forever.
Hahahahaha!!! So many flakes. I sometimes only see one or two people a week despite having fifteen bookings because of all the people that cancel last minute. Some clients require constant texting back and forth before the date as if you’re bf/gf. —DemureStudent, full service sex worker in the UK
100% no. To make money you have to spend money. You need a laptop, a webcam, lighting equipment, sex toys, lingerie, all of which can be expensive. I also make and post my videos on ManyVids, which takes so many hours. You have to think about lighting, angles, video editing, photo editing, advertising and marketing your product. The first thing I do in the morning is check my emails, check my camscores, check my tumblr, reblog my content to promote it, it’s never ending. Not to mention so many girls are in this industry, and it’s extremely hard to stand out! —V.K.
Some people seem to think that all a woman has to do is get naked and suddenly customers arrive waving money around. I am the performer, writer, director, hair and makeup, costume department, lighting crew, editor, marketing department, saleswoman, customer service rep, DMCA lawyer, contract negotiator, and accountant for this business. And that's all while disregarding the HUGE amount of hate mail, rudeness, sexual harassment, and threats of violence I endure every day, the people who stigmatize me and my work or don't take me seriously, and the impact of piracy. —Eliza Wood, 27-year old camgirl from Connecticut
It requires so much vigilance and savvy. Sex workers are at the forefront of encryption, internet security, and cryptocurrencies. On top of that, we have to be emotionally and physically available to our clients, while weeding out abusers, time wasters, and law enforcement... If you want a stable income and stay safe, it quickly becomes a lot of work. — L., kinky companion/escort/girlfriend-for-hire
That very first trick was easy money, because he came before I even did anything. The next guy tried to kidnap me. The third guy was a dreamy fireman I still fantasize about, but the fourth guy tried to attack me. Easy money? Yes, sometimes it's so easy, it's befuddling. Like the guy who walked through my door very troubled looking. He handed me the money, then apparently got a bad attack of the guilts, said he couldn't go through with it, told me to keep the money and left. Yes, sometimes it's REALLY easy. But on the whole, it's not at all. I've been assaulted, beat up, choked, strangled and—even worse—I've fallen in love with several different guys. At times it's been terrifying, at other times I'm having the best sex I've ever had with a really hot guy and thinking to myself, “And I get paid for this?" And that's precisely why it's NOT "easy money". Because it's always a game of Mystery Date. One client is Mr. Perfect, the next one might be Mr. Psychopath. The potential for danger and/or trouble is always there. —Scarlet, 50+, Transgender Sex Worker
This is a very mental, physical, and emotional job. I can hardly walk after dancing for eight hours in 7” heels. My feet look like I'm doing ballet again. I deal with rejection every night. I sit and comfort men that have lost loved ones and just need someone to care. I compete with girls I actually like so I can pay my bills, while comforting them because they can't pay their bills. This isn't showing up to a vanilla job and half-assing it and still getting paid. This is fighting for every dollar I earn. —Bailey, 27-year-old gaming and Harry Potter nerd; dominating money whore.
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Yes & No
Starting out, another escort told me something very true. She said it's quick money - not easy money. Big difference. I still repeat it to all the new girls. —Lorence Vennes
This isn't a yes or no question. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it is the hardest work I have ever done. Hard on my body, my mind, my spirit. I have been assaulted at work. But sometimes I get paid to receive a massage, or I get tipped for a hand job that only takes five minutes. —Kit Bauer, escort and porn performer
I chose "No" but I'd say it's both. The job itself isn't hard; when I'm making money, it's easy. It's the uncertainty, the slow or bad days that are hard. Those can take a toll on the nerves & self esteem. —B, 35, Camgirl
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Yes
I usually do sex work part time. It's just like every other job I've had—it takes effort and emotional energy. However, I find it easier than other work. For example, I found minimum wage customer service jobs way more demeaning and emotionally draining. —K, 31 F, from the US, current cam model and former stripper and domme. Seven years and counting in the sex industry.
Most of the time, sex with clients is fun. Besides, you can earn much more money than in a regular job investing much less time, so in this way, it's easy money as well. —Sergi, 32-year-old gay male sex worker from Barcelona, Spain
As a Dominatrix, My clothes stay on; however I am scantily clad quite often. It’s the safest place I have ever worked. It’s like being the ringleader in an erotic circus. It’s so fucking fun!! —Anonyomous
Life is hard. Sex work is much easier. —Gumbie, former adult performer, male submissive, bi slut, Los Angeles, CA
“Sex work is sometimes referred to as ‘golden handcuffs,’ or a job that’s difficult to leave. Do you agree? Why or why not?”
This question elicited the most opinionated divide, with 95% of respondents giving either a “yes” or “no” response. Only one-in-twenty respondents answered “yes and no” or “both.”
For the respondents who answered “yes,” the most commonly cited reasons were good money, loving the work, freedom/ be one’s own boss, and community.
How can you leave the flexibility and profitability unless you have a large inheritance or win the lottery?! I think I look good in gold, and I plan to wear these handcuffs as long as I am able. —Anonymous
It's like leaving a part of yourself and a whole life behind. Imagine if Batman just hung up his belt and became Bruce Wayne forever... Boring. —Annabelle Mason, 23-year-old, Sydney based private escort
Two words: Cash Money. —Rikki V. in the O.C.
For me, it’s hard to leave because it’s really sexually liberating and emotionally rewarding. Sex work has given me so much confidence that’s its hard to imagine wanting to give it up currently. —Banshie Love, 21-year-old white woman from the Bay Area, CA, content creator and camgirl
I would definitely say it's hard to leave. It's a beautiful community, and it feels good to make your own money your own way, using your own creativity. —Praxis Phanes, up-and-coming non-binary sex worker
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Several respondents acknowledged that they stay in sex work, even if it does not suit them, due to employment gaps and limited opportunities,
Definitely, it can be very hard to leave if there’s a gap in your vanilla work history or future employers happen to find out about your past. I personally find it difficult to leave because the vanilla workplace was always very painful for me. I always felt more exploited in a “normal” job than what I do now. I wont allow myself to go back to that. —P.S.
The money is so much more than any other job I can get with a felony, so the possibility of leaving seems impossible at times. —K., 22-year-old white full service sex worker from New Mexico
For me, I have great difficulty working a standard job due to disability. Social supports on the state and federal level give me enough money to keep me alive but nothing more. I want to live like I imagine others do - if they need a winter coat, they can go out and get one. If there’s an emergency, they have savings. I want to have a car. I refuse to live in poverty for the rest of my life due to a disability. —Abbi Minx, 26, female, Minneapolis MN, escort
Golden handcuffs beat McHandcuffs any day. —Felicity Adams
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Yes/No
If the money is good, it's hard to leave. But sometimes the money isn't worth it anymore. At times, you're just over the night shifts and the dumb asshats you deal with. —Lei'la, 25, Hispanic female, Midwest, dancer/private parties.
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Those who answered “no,” meaning sex work is an easy job to leave, the main reason cited was due to being like most other jobs.
I don't think it's an exceptionally hard-to-leave job. I've never heard that saying before, but it reeks of false consciousness, like what if we just don't WANT to leave? It also seems to me that people leave all the time. Many sex workers I know did specifically choose this job to suit them, and might be hard pressed to find another that suits them better, but handcuffs? I don't think so. —V, mid-twenties middle-class cam model broadcasting from NYC
I could leave and return to my previous career if I chose, as I use a lot of the same skill sets (editing, marketing, etc.). That may not be the option for some sex workers. But I think it’s also mind over matter. —Anonymous
I stopped doing it as soon as I could. I hated it. —Anonymous
Not really. I have a vanilla career, so I feel like I can take breaks from porn and come back when I want/need to. –Alyssa, Santa Cruz CA
I’m my case no, because I am very low volume, so leaving won’t be hard at all. But I can see how it would be different for someone who made a lot of money. It’s all about one’s perspective. —Vivi, a 40-year-old escort from Vancouver Island
As wonderful and insightful as these answers are, they were only a small sample of the 5,600+ written responses I received.
Again, I just want to say to everyone who took the time to participate and share their stories,