Excerpt from Thriving in Sex Work: Sex Work and Money, a personal finance guide for sex workers, available now, wherever paperbacks and ebooks are sold.

Practical Sex Work Money Advice: An Introduction

In Thriving, I talk about how sex workers need hero/ines to look up to and emulate. In this book, I’m offering a more mundane, but just as powerful, reframe: imagining ourselves as small business owners. As sex workers, whether or not we work for someone else, we alone are in charge of managing our brand, obligations, and retirement. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be a small business owner yet, I’m going to go ahead and think that way for you.

What does a small business owner do? According to Ivy Liu of Smallbusiness.chron.com, they wear these hats—these duties should look familiar:

• Customer Service—That’s certainly one way to describe the work.

• Marketing and Sales—Creating fresh content, managing social media, and connecting with clients and fans.

• Finances and Accounting—Keeping track of earnings, expenses, and taxes.

• Strategy and Planning—Looking ahead six months, twelve months, and years from now.

• Human Resources—In sex work, the human resource is you. 

To be a successful sex worker is to excel at all the duties of any small business owner while getting our sexy on, so don’t sell yourself short.

Benefits of Self-Employment

In sex work, as in small business ownership, the upside is freedom and flexibility; the downside is greater responsibility and risk. We don’t get paid sick days or matching employer contributions. It can get pretty lonely making decisions and staying motivated, especially while weathering the industry’s inevitable ups and downs. 

Self-employment also means we are our most treasured employee, making self-care essential. When struggling with anxiety and self-doubt, it’s up to us to decide whether we need a pep talk to get ourselves moving, or to take a mental health day instead. 

Here are some reminders of why self-employment can be so rewarding:

• It’s a way of life—scheduling our own hours, making our own rules, etc. 

• In sex work, we literally get to follow our passion, which is never easy, but is a worthy life goal.

• We own our successes. Nothing tastes sweeter than seeing our hard work pay off, whether that means more money, clients, freedom, or fame.

One of the most important benefits of thinking as small business owners is there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. As we grow and expand, we can reach out to get the help we deserve. Don’t be afraid to hire experts who take your business seriously. Fire the ones who don’t.

To have the business we want, we need to earn the money we want. With the framework of small business ownership in mind, we’ll turn to the doings of money—having, saving, spending, sharing, and all the rest. I’ll offer practical advice, along with additional reading and resources. Don’t feel like you have to take notes. I’ve distilled key takeaways at the end of each chapter, along with a recap at the very end of this section and a checklist of the necessary tasks for getting your financial house in order. 

If you start feeling lost or overwhelmed, then it’s time to check in. Remember your three tools: staying positive, listening to what your body has to say, and self-soothing with gentleness and acceptance. What’s important is to stick with the parts that feel hard, knowing that you’re doing the very best you can, while treating yourself with the utmost kindness.