I’m happy to announce that I’ll be releasing the Thriving in Sex Work Workbook in March. It’s a companion guide to Thriving in Sex Work, filled with exercises, budgets, self-care guides, and business plans to keep your mind, body, and business thriving. Here's a taste!
Read MoreWhen I was working, I could never get enough love. Or maybe it would be better to say I didn’t have the ability to live in love. It was like a medical condition where you’re getting plenty of Vitamin C in your diet, but your body can’t absorb it, so your teeth fall out due to scurvy. I would characterize that time, even in the midst of all my relative good fortune, as feeling starved for love.
Read MoreI used to hammer away at myself when I worked-- the slightest little mix-up or error, and I would beat myself up mercilessly for days.
Read MoreSex work can bring such an emotional high—that rush from turning someone on and earning cold hard cash. But it doesn’t last. Once you earn $400 for a couple of shifts, it takes $600 to feel like a great night. $200 can feel like a catastrophe, even if before you started stripping, that might have felt like a huge payday.
Read MoreThe only thing worse than some bad thing unexpected happening is that sinking feeling that comes from knowing we didn’t prepare for it when we could have. We owe it to ourselves to set contingencies in place, just in case.
Read MoreOne of the biggest misunderstandings about sex work is that it’s purely about achieving an orgasm—clients want that one thing, that one thing only, and they don’t care about anything else in order to get it. That’s just not the case.
Read MoreOne of the most consistent complaints I see all the time throughout the sex industry is that people feel like they don’t have enough time, money, or energy for outside interests. It’s one of those paradoxes about the job—even though often the hours are flexible, and there can be good money in it, why does it seem like there’s never anything left over for family, friends, and fun?
Read MoreYou can fire any client. For any reason. At any time. And not feel bad about it afterwards.
Read MoreOne of the most seductive mistakes in the sex industry is not filing state and federal income tax returns because we get paid under the table or are independent contractors. If we’re responsible for our taxes because they’re not automatically withdrawn from a paycheck, we can just… forget to pay.
Read MoreDon’t assume anyone else is better off than you. I’m dead serious about this advice, as audacious as it sounds. Looks are deceiving, and nowhere is that more true than the sex industry. No matter how hot someone is, no matter how much money they appear to be making, you have no idea what’s really going on with them.
Read MoreWhen I first started out in sex work in my twenties, I needed it to thrill me. I’d say “yes” to anything, just because someone asked, so I ended up doing all kinds of crazy shit. I met all kinds of people, had all kinds of adventures, and made fast cash along the way.
Read MoreWhen I look back on my working days, I remember how deeply I felt that identity in my bones. Every morning, I would wake up and say to myself, “I am a prostitute. I made [X] dollars this week.” Whenever I left the house, walking down the street, riding a bus, I would look around and wonder if anyone could see it on me, if something about me revealed it to the world.
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