Don’t assume anyone else is better off than you. I’m dead serious about this advice, as audacious as it sounds. Looks are deceiving, and nowhere is that more true than the sex industry. No matter how hot someone is, no matter how much money they appear to be making, you have no idea what’s really going on with them.
Read MoreWhen I first started out in sex work in my twenties, I needed it to thrill me. I’d say “yes” to anything, just because someone asked, so I ended up doing all kinds of crazy shit. I met all kinds of people, had all kinds of adventures, and made fast cash along the way.
Read MoreDear Lola,
I’ve been camming for almost three years now and done well at it, but I know I can’t keep doing it forever. I keep thinking I need to make a change, but the thought makes me nervous. How do I know when it’s time to quit?
Read MoreWhen I look back on my working days, I remember how deeply I felt that identity in my bones. Every morning, I would wake up and say to myself, “I am a prostitute. I made [X] dollars this week.” Whenever I left the house, walking down the street, riding a bus, I would look around and wonder if anyone could see it on me, if something about me revealed it to the world.
Read MoreThose steady, low-level voices of self loathing are what I call “hate radio," filling me with a constant low-grade sadness. And while I know I experienced those voices long before I ever became a sex worker, there were times that I used that fact as an excuse to whip myself even harder.
Read MoreThere’s more to money than just making it. When I first started stripping, making [gasp] $20 an hour I thought I would never be poor again. And when I started escorting, I thought charging $200/hour would be the solution to all of life’s problems. Life quickly taught me otherwise.
Read MoreHurt people hurt people. Ostensibly the sex industry is all about pleasure, but as it turns out, so many people are in pain.
Read MoreAs a retired-and-out sex worker, Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry connects to straight to my heart. I’m so proud to introduce this valuable and vital resource to you. In this interview, Lola told me how she writes and what’s coming next. And her answer to my standard sexy writer interview question will blow you away.
Read MoreThe folks who get you through the hard times and celebrate your triumphs are priceless. Everyone else is just a life lesson.
Read MoreIn the modern age, the internet provides endless opportunities for us to follow other people’s public lives in ways that can make us feel like we don’t measure up. There’s even a fancy new term for it: Obsessive Comparison Syndrome. OCS is “a compulsion to compare oneself with others in a way that produces anxiety and depression.”
Read MoreIt’s okay to let go of people who aren’t really your friends. This was a surprisingly difficult lesson. Holding onto people too long caused me a lot of pain and drama.
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